TELLING IT LIKE IT IS. /take it easy mike money, nobody needs and wants you, but you will come again one day. upsawh./

upsawh. the fact: i don't get by in serbia

the fact #2: there are two groups of peeple that interact with me/following or passing by me around on daily basis: mainly, the grounds for these events are the means of public transportation where there is always a chance for eye to an eye contact, for a touch and more, namely, they are

i. those that are provoking me, and

ii. the onlookers,
iii. i don't have supporters in serbian public transportation. it really sucks to be a friend of mine in serbia.
[they are pushing me around/../]

iv. there are millions of cafes and restaurants in this city but there an't one place where i can sit down and relax knowing there won't be any hooligans/anarchists-turned-waiters or anyone capable of messing up my drinks etc. which also means i an't having too many friends around here that would know some half decent places where one can sit down and relax not thinking about how will he or she die soon thereafter. i am going to have a seat only if it [the event] is important enough and have a glass of water just like today when i had a seat in "love" on the boulevard, had water, but got herpes and strange feeling in the system, heavy kidney dullsome tightness and light frontal abdominal dullsome pains. i an't LITTLE untrusty, there were no flower pots around, i couldn't spill it, had to drink it. i felt hot even though i sort of chosen the place for it looks but when entered waiter started making loud noises and it was too late to back up so i had water in perhaps a dirty glass at least. [God gave me that.] even in macdonald's i cannot be sure my food won't be tampered with. like today i took zorba sandwich at banovo brdo mac and after a few bites into it i found some yellowish silly looking stuff which was supposed to be chicken dressing on beef. it is not yakety-yuck, i wonder more was it something else on purpose as i waited some minutes for a guy to deliver. thus not even in macdonalds i like men food handlers. i like girls better cos they seem like more aptable to this society (and worried about their jobs) which does not have working laws that protect consumers. i mean i was forced to write dirt on serbia, i was picked and chosen. like through the exhaust valve, on this blog i was only mirroring feedbacks experienced throughout my serbian whereabouts. who knows who and why may take it personally and come up to me with intent to hurt me, i would not mind frontal approach but i am sort of worried about the unsuspected attack from behind (thinking about sarajevo assassination) and usually serbs attack in groups, straight up, when i see one serb approaching me i am not afraid and worried a lot even if the attack is without a warning though. most of the time, i am expecting they will kick me and if it is an older, disturbed guy i am worried how would i come clean after defending myself and breaking his jaw for example. older guys can still deliver a blow, but what can i do after that, take it and be cool with it, or strike back and break him off. i wonder with these looks on the guys when will it happen not will it happen. on several occasions serbian mafia (driving in packs in AUDIs and Cayenne jeeps) or serbian mafia dressed like guys (walking around skadarlija and elsewhere), individually or in packs, were pointing finger pistols at me, spitting, talking targeted shit, agitating with manmade noises and provoking in other unforeseeable ways. i try to stay away from trouble and avoid the conflict but it is getting harder and harder esp. with the younger population looking for a trouble which don't have any restraints and they are acting up on hate, not that i am not likeable but it's the hate buzz running around about me. i am also saying there are no laws in serbia that will prevent someone from tampering drinks or attacking someone. shit happens even in united states, i read some black waiters spat into the white cop's drinks in pittsburgh i remember. thus - even in united states. i know their laws an't solid in application, but at least they exist and someone may act upon them and do something, but after what had happened to me there, with my family i come to think perhaps it is better to have no laws than putting smokes up people's ass. it all started when america gave the green light and said the hunt was on. indeed, money rules here and there. if you got money you smile for you can make the justice works, otherwise, you are a dead meat, collateral, fluff, a walking zombie waiting for departure, whatever. jealousy?>: they wanna put me down crowning me with epithets, now i am the king: get off of me psychos, or respect, if nothing else. i am not flying high i am down to earth, smooching and lying down as low as i can. when i came to cottman ave recruiting center to become a texas ranger i wanted to raise money for my education and promote my adventurous spirit not betray serbia as is the point with those stirring up the unsuspecting serbian folk with baseless claims or worse ...traitor, traitor... trying now too hard to find a way preventing you from kicking me around ugly